Aed jokes
Where do you find white people on a bench?
- The NBA.
What did God say when he made Jake Paul?
"Oops, I made a mistake."
A man gets captured by cannibals.
Every day they poke him with spears and use his blood to wash down their food. Finally the guy calls the chief over and says, "You can kill me or you can eat me, but I'm tired of getting stuck for drinks."
There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.
At least Stephen Hawking does something.
I don't understand the plane crash at 9/11. My dad was a great pilot!
What do a friend and a mouse have in common? They will both be angry if you throw bricks at them.
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
The trom-BONE!
P.S. This joke is very non-original and bad.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
So I got my son a trampoline for Christmas this year, and he was so ungrateful, like he just sat there crying in his wheelchair. What has this world come to?
How do you properly eat a vegetable?
You tip over the wheelchair.
So I was doing a project in my class and my teacher asked me to give an example of allusion, which is referencing something else with a word.
So I answered, “Jane 9/11ed her little sister's Jenga kit!”
The principal's office smells nice.
A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.
The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."
They told me I'd never be good at poetry.
But to date I have made 3 jugs and a vase, and they look lovely!
Ex-Boyfriend: You have no ass, so we're through!
Me: Stop being a dickhead, dude!! It ain't gonna make your little sausage any bigger!
If depression on crack fucked weed and 69 hours of not sleeping and had a baby with huge amounts of autism, that would be me.
Why did Stephen Hawking and his wife stop playing hide and seek? She kept using a metal detector.
How do you punch 40 kids in the face at once? Hit them with a “Sandy Hook”.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.