Aed jokes
I saw a piece of cheese and it told me a joke, but the joke was too cheesy.
I stepped on a cornflake. They accused me of being a serial killer.
The first windmill said to the second, "What's your favorite type of music?"
The second windmill said, "I'm a big metal fan!"
There once was a man from Peru who dreamed he was eating his shoe.
He woke up at night, with a terrible fright, to find out his dream had come true.
A truck carrying Vicks VapoRub overturned on the highway. Amazingly, there was no congestion for eight hours straight.
What is the strongest creature in the sea?
A mussel!
What happens when a frog parks illegally?
It gets toad.
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
My friend got a sorry excuse for a new hair style, she says "How do you like my new hair style?"
Me: I think it's a great idea, when are you getting one?
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler!
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
I've been told I've got a perfect cock.
She sure was hard on me when I took it from her, though.
Why did the pervert sing "Gucci Gang"?
Because a woman just gave him a lil pump.
The first trains were often derailed. They had a bad track record.
What a skeleton baked for the other skeleton.
A pa_pıe_rus.
What do you call a blank piece of paper?
Women's rights.
McDonald's was originally called "Mac and Dick," so, if you think about it, you could be enjoying a Big Dick instead of a Big Mac.
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
A 10 year old girl meets with her doctor. The doctor tells her “Katie, I’m sorry to have to tell you that your parents didn’t survive the accident. Sadly, our tests also show that you have early onset Alzheimer’s disease.”
Katie replies “well at least my parents will look after me.”
What’s the difference between dead babies and a cat?
The cat is still alive.
What’s the difference between cat food and tonight’s dinner?
Nothing, it’s all just mystery meat.