Aed jokes
If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?
What do you call a homosexual wrestler?
Gay Mysterio.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
What’s the difference between a Black person and snow tires?
Snow tires still work after you take the chains off.
I tell dad jokes all the time even though I’m not actually a dad.
I’m a faux pa.
What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?
Sells the wheelchair.
I would never slap a woman, then I’d be destroying property.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”
Q: Why are school shooting jokes funny?
A: Because they're intended for a young audience.
Q. What do they call an ISIS terrorist who owns both a camel and a goat?
A. Bisexual.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.
Husband: “Honey, what’s the difference between a Ferrari and an erection?”
Wife: “ok... what is it?”
Husband: “I don’t have a Ferrari right now.”
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
I was playing laser tag with my ex, but I (wink) didn't realize I had a real gun.
Your hairline was sponsored as a Snap Chat Filter.
Q: What do you call a Chinese billionaire?
A: Cha-Ching!
My girlfriend called me a cocksucker, but hey, 20 dollars is 20 dollars.