Wand jokes

What does a wizard say when doing drugs? Injecto Patronum!

A priest and a nun are traveling across the desert on a camel, and when all of a sudden the camel dies. They’re in the middle of the desert with no hope of rescue when that night the priest thinks to himself that he can’t die a virgin. He looks over at the nun and pulls out his penis. The nun says, "Father, what is that?" He says, "This, sister, is the wand of life." The nun says, "Good, now go stick it in that camel's ass and let’s get the hell out of here!"

I think if a woman is giving a man a handjob, it should be called "wand making".

If a woman is giving a woman a handjob, it should be called "finger pointing".

If a man is giving a man a handjob, it should be called a "self-pleasure".

There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.

1-2-..... and he left without a trace.

If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?

What do you call a magician who has lost their magic?

Ian.

Draco Malfoy had a wand fight in the bathroom.

Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?

Because his snake bit it off!

Want a kiss, daddy? Want a blow job?

Stephanie has a magic.

Why don't witches wear underwear?

So they can get a better grip on their broom.

Next time at Walmart, I'm going to scan my wrist. They are basically barcodes.

So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?