Aed jokes
What do you call a white kid who kills another?
Russia vs Ukraine hahaha.
If the average male walks 1.7 miles a day, then why did my dad take 13 years to get the milk?
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
What do you call a group of ethnically diverse disabled people?
Seasoned vegetables.
Anybody who doesn't like Pepsi is a Coke-sucker!
What do you call a group of masturbating cows?
Beef stroganoff.
What’s the difference between 69 and High School?
In 69 you usually only kiss one c*nt and look at one a**hole.
What is the difference between a nun and a hooker?
One makes you believe in Heaven, the other makes you feel it.
Your mom is so fat, they asked if she was a sumo wrestler.
What is a gay person’s favourite meal?
Willy con carne.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
Good Evening Twitter, this is your boy EatDatPussy445, and about like 30-45 minutes ago, I beat the f*** out of my dick so god damn hard that I can't even feel my left leg, my left leg has went totally numb. And, my dick has also went totally numb, to the point where it feels f***ing weird when I go and take a piss.
I told my lesbian friends, "I wanna watch," so they bought me a Timex®.
It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
My dad is Al-Qaeda, and he even took a plane trip to New York in 2001.
Did you hear he died of a virus? A computer virus.
What do you call a guy with a long chin?
Chino-Chinese
Confucius say: "Gay man who take far, far away trip, hates to leave friends behind."
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."