Aed jokes
If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
What did the Nazi say when a doll hit his daughter?
A-doll Hitler!
What’s the difference between a priest and target?
Nothing, they both have children’s pants half off.
What’s the difference between a priest and acne? At least acne waits til the boy is 12 to come on his face.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
What do you call a mouse with sneakers?
Squeakers!
At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.
You don't need a parachute to go skydiving. You only need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
What do a stripper and a coconut have in common? They both have a creamy center.
Today I found out that my cat got hit by a car accident. Well, I guess I'm gonna play ninja fruits on my hands again. It's not like anyone will notice.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.
Then it's a soap opera.
Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
you look like a dumb crab. When everyone sees you, the world will end.
Your mum sat on a phone, and she turned it into a pancake.
I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.