
Aed jokes
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."
A kid has an older brother that’s a very popular lifeguard. He sees all of the people that talk to his brother, but he’s fairly ignored. So one day he asks his brother why everyone likes him so much. His older brother says, “Well, all you gotta do is stick a potato in your pocket.” So the next day the boy goes back to the pool and he has a potato in his pocket, but everyone is avoiding him even more now. At the end of the day he goes up to his brother and asks why it didn’t work, and his brother says, “Dumbass, you were supposed to put it in the front!”
What do you call a white person having a seizure?
A saltshaker.
What does a cop say when you shoot a ginger?
I guess orange is the new black.
What do you call lesbian twins?
Lick-A-Likes.
I found out how to gain millions of followers.
Run through Africa with a bottle of water.
"Why did the band teacher get arrested?"
"For fingering a minor." Ahaha, so funny!
The couple next door made a porn film.
They don’t know it yet.
Q: What kind of person has 100% ambition and never gives up if someone gets in their way?
A: A rapist.
When is a rapist safe around children?
When his plans are oven ready.
What looks like it has jaundice and is filled with stupidity?
A Mexican.
When you know that everyone thinks you're a hoe.
WHEN Y'ALL ARE MY HOES!
A girl called me ugly.
So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because no one misses them.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a thrill with pills. Jack came down, fuck a clown, and the cum made them frown.
I went to find someone to fuck in the streets for money, and I found a prostitute, but then she raped me. After she said it was amazing and instead let me push.
When you cream pie a tardy hottie, it’s called a loaded potato. 🥴🦴💨🥔
Q: What do you get when you drop all your potato chips in your couch somewhere?
A: A couch potato. HaHaHa
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
