Aed jokes
My dog is a genius... I asked him what is two minus two, he said nothing.
Kid: Dad, what happened to the kidnapper?
Dad: He had a nap.
Kid: Where is he now?
Dad: HELL!
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
I got a job at the can factory, but it is soda-pressing.
I would make a joke about America... However, the fact it exists is a joke in itself.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."
It's only okay to beat up a dwarf when they walk up to your wife and say, "Your hair smells nice."
Why did the rapper bring a basketball to the concert?
To drop some SLAM DUNKS on the mic!
Q: What did one snake say to the other?
A: Nothing because they are both dead.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
How does the skeleton call his friends? With a tele-bone.
Your hairline is so far gone that it looks like someone dropped a nuclear bomb on it.
Jeffrey Epstein was a horrible person, but at least he killed Jeffrey Epstein.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."
As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe a career as a tour guide was not the right choice.
Ok, so, a mole goes up to a snail and eats him.
It was a seven course meal if I say so myself.