Aed jokes
Why does a straight guy act gay? Because he wants to feel wanted and wants to be BFFs with the hottest girls.
Q: What’s worse than fingerbanging your sister?
A: Finding your dad's wedding ring.
Q: What’s the difference between Black Panther and Batman?
A: Batman “returns.”
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"
Imagine someone leaving a cut-out of Jeff Bezos on your car after you found out your blind bf cheated on you, and the McDonald's employee says over the speaker, "Weren't expecting him to see other hoes were you?"
What is the worst animal to play cards with? A cheater.
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
Popular guy in class: I am so funny.
Me: Your parents are funny as they made a joke and people are still laughing at it.
A kid went and got a haircut. The day after, he went to school, and a friend says, "I like your cut." He replies, "Which one?"
Why did the orphan fall out of a tree?
They thought their parents would catch them.
What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?
The depressed person can scan themself.
Man 1: Hey, I heard you survived a school shooting. What was it like?
Man 2: People were screaming and running everywhere. I was only able to get a few of them.
An orphanage is like a horse rescue. You rescue them, rehabilitate them, then sell them for as much as possible.
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
An orphan asked if they could move into my house yesterday. I said, "Don't you have a family?"
A person could build a playground with your mood swings.
Emos do take shots of themselves... not with a camera, though.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
Blondes like their men how they like their rice: brown, 500 at a time, and all in her bowl.
The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.