Aed jokes
For a present on Christmas, I gave an orphan a phone, just without a home button.
Don't treat her like a gold pump when she's treating you like a gray pistol. Put down a launch pad and rotate.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A Juan on Juan.
Would you watch a tree grow? Or a knee grow?
What's white at the front and black at the back? A bus.
How do you know you've found a priest? When little Timmy is glued to his crotch.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
What does a pedophile call an orphanage?
A supermarket.
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
Why are there so many black men in the NBA that only want to play basketball on a all black basketball team? because they prefer to suck a long and thick big black dick
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
It's like your hairline and your forehead had a disagreement.
Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
How is sex like a game of bridge?
If you have a great hand, you don’t need a partner.
Who is the definition of a natural-born cocksucker?
A bisexual male, a homosexual male, a bisexual female, or a heterosexual female?
A physically disabled heterosexual male.
What is an Italian massage?
An Italian Catholic priest giving a blowjob inside the confessional booth during Lent.
Genie: You cannot wish for more wishes, immortality, or love.
Man: I wish not to die a virgin.
Genie: I just said no wishing for immortality!