Aed jokes
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Yo mama so dumb, when Fox Five said it's chilly outside, she brought a bowlllllll!
Q: What did one gay cowboy say to the other gay cowboy?
A: Hayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
An e-girl went to go high five a tree, but the tree left her hanging.
I went to school with a gay guy who was really smart, but he always got mad that he got straight A's instead of getting all the D's.
What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?
Nothing, they both hang.
What do you call a deer who is funny?
Diraleous.
Why was everybody so tired on April 1st? Because they just finished a March of 31 days!
There's a blind hooker in town.
She never sees anyone coming.
A list of Sans puns would be Sans-tastic!
When I was at work, I saw this kid crying. I said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working in an orphanage.
A man tells his doctor, "Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!"
The doctor replies, "Sorry, I don’t follow you..."
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
I went to self-checkout at a store and I scanned my products, but the scanner wouldn't scan the barcode on my arm.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 broke into a daycare and ate 12 children before burning the building down.
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
My mom: If your friend jumped off a bridge, would you?
Me: No.
Attack on Titan music starts playing in my head.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Why do orphans not have cheese on their burgers? They don't have a dad to get milk.