Aed jokes
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.
“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”
“Why is that?”
“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”
Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
Why do lesbians get their belly button pierced?
So they have a place to hang the air freshener.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
What is a black person's least favorite word game?
Hangman.
What do you call a party with 100 midgets? A little get together.
Doctor: "I am so sorry, I cannot see you today."
Orphan: "Oh, okay. What about tomorrow?"
Doctor: "No, I can't see you ever."
Orphan: "Why?"
Doctor: "Because I am a family doctor."
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
An officer confronts two congressmen.
He informs them, \"I’m looking for a couple of child molesters.\"
The two look at each other, turn to the officer and exclaim, \"Sure! We’ll do it!\"
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What do a plastic bag and Jeffery Epstein have in common?
They're both dangerous to children.
She said she wanted me to treat her like a dishwasher. So I loaded her up, ran her through a rough cycle, and left her wet and broken on the floor.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."