Aed jokes
What do teenage girls and happy meals have in common?
They both come with a toy.
So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"
Why can't you have a tall dog? You will have pups in a week.
Little Jonny just came back from quarantine with his girlfriend, Sally.
They both said they had to go to the bathroom. When they came back, Sally was coughing up a storm. The teacher said, "You need to be quarantined again."
"No," Sally said, "I was just in the bathroom choking on something that grown-ups, especially women, like." Then the teacher faints.
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.
Who rates these jokes as "Newest" and "Hot"?
Answer: a S-T-O-O-G-E.
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
Why did Sally run into a tree?
She is blind.
What goes in and takes a while to come out?
Wesley, stop saying your life is a joke.
Jokes have meaning.
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
Jack and Jill went up a hill to fetch a pal of water. Me: incorrect, two pals of water, one to refresh from running up a hill and the one you went to get. I’m sick af from these stories.
Q: What do you call a blonde with only two brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
Two kids are out in the cold, with downpours of snow erupting from the clouds.
One of the kids says something: "Can we build a snowman that is going through puberty?"
The other kid says something else: "Yes. It sounds cool."
After a while, the snowman was finished, and some words jut out of the first kid's mouth: "Wow! Look at that snowman! It's got hair all over, but I think it's missing something though."
The other kid jumps a little and begins speaking: "Oh, I know what it is!"
After a while, a body part made of a carrot and two cucumbers appears on the snowman's crotch. It is a penis and a ballsack.
The first kid speaks: "Icy what you did there."
The other kid replies: "Good thing I didn't slip up there."
The first kid replies: "Well, that's snow problem."
The other kid then uttered this: "These puns would make the most frigid individual crack up."
The first kid then says: "I know, right?"
They then begin a snowball fight.
The other kid then says: "Only the men have snowballs!"
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
One day, I saw a kid beating up a fat kid. But a cop came out of nowhere and threw the bully off him. The cop then asked the bully, "Why are you beating him up?" I responded, saying, "I'm fighting obesity; no children should suffer from diabetes and heart disease." Then, the cop pulled out a gun and fired, afterwards saying, "Well, how did I do?"
I got my sister a trampoline for her birthday, but she won’t get out of her wheelchair and use it.
What did the frog order?
A diet Croak!
What is a blind person's favorite color?
Black.