Aed jokes
What do you call a heterosexual man giving a brojob to another heterosexual man?
gay now, heterosexual later.
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!
Have you heard about the pedophile who was guilty of robbery?
He took a girl's innocence.
Yo mama is so ugly, when there was a tornado, the tornado refused to suck her up.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dinosnore!
What is purple, small, and rinsed off in a drainer?
A bunch of grapes! 🍇
What did Homer Simpson say when he ran over a deer? "DOE!"
How can you save a depressed person from a tree?
You cut the rope.
You remind me of a snowflake, beautiful and unique. One touch and you're wet.
I went to the dam to take the dam tour, but the dam tour guide told me there wasn't going to be a dam tour that day. So I was thirsty and I wanted some dam water, but the dam man wouldn't give me any dam water, so I told the dam man to keep his dam water.
Depressed people have beautiful smiles. Okay, it's not a joke for normal people, but it's a joke for us.
I'd tell ya a poop joke, but you're my favorite turd.
An American is touring the Soviet Union. A Russian takes him to a school so he can see what it's like. He asks the kids if they like the Soviet Union. All of the kids say yes, they love it. All but one. That kid bursts out crying. The American asks what's wrong, and he cries, "I want to live in the Soviet Union!"
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
What is the strongest weapon in India?
The red button (this is a fact).
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
A plane is going to crash. There are four passengers and only three parachutes. All the staff are safe and are gone, leaving the passengers. Ryan Reynolds is the first. He says, "My fans need me," and jumps. Donald Trump takes another and says, "I am the smartest president," and jumps, leaving one. There is a pope and a boy left. The pope says, "Child, my life is over and yours has just begun, take the last parachute." The boy replies, "Don't worry - Donald took my backpack."