Aed jokes
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
Two priests are in a bar. One says to the other priest, "I'll swap you two fives for a ten."
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
FOR REAL
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Yo mama so dumb, when the bartender said "beer is on the house" she grabbed a ladder.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
When I’m bored, I text a random number, “I hid the body... now what?”
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
Did you know that people say Michael Jackson only became a pedophile when he was white?
Lucky for him, if he was black he would have been found guilty.
A man hit a woman with his car, who is wrong?
The man, because you can’t drive into the kitchen.
I asked a black man on the street if a white person paints their face black, it’s considered racist, but if a black person paints their face white, will the cops treat them better?
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
What do you call a Portuguese who commits a crime in Las Vegas?
Consensual Rapper 7.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
My wife said I didn’t listen to a single thing she says.
What a weird way to start a conversation!
What do you call a fat midget?
Jigglypuff.
Yo mama so slutty the abortion clinic gave her a loyalty card and coupon for 20% off her next abortion.
What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Corvette in my garage.