Aed jokes
Where do you mix a bunny and a hare?
Bunny hair.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Why is Helen Keller's snatch always sore?
She wipes with a Brillo pad.
Why did the astronauts take a box of cereal and a cow with them? In case they bypassed the Milky Way!
I saw a cute coworker and had sex in the back until I realized it is a family business.
A: Why did the orphan not come to school today?
B: Because today we had a parent meetup.
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Why does my girlfriend have a dick? Oh wait, I'm gay.
What is a fish’s 🐟 favorite game?
Salmon Says!
One hot day a cow wanted some shade.
He found a tree and started resting under it, but there was a chicken bothering him. The cow exclaimed, "Moooove!" The chicken didn't move. Again, "Moooove!" and still the chicken wouldn't move. The cow yelled, "MOOOOOVE!" The chicken turned around and said, "FUCKOFF."
Killing someone is better than killing yourself.
Why did the blind man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well.
What's the difference between a pig and a police officer?
The pig smells better.
A cock really has a sad life. He's hairs a mess, his neighbor's an arsehole, his best friend is a cunt.
What did one shark say to the other while eating a clownfish?
What do you call a cow that doesn't produce any milk? An udder failure.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
I told my mother I'm a sexy cunt. She said, "No, you got cancer, you twat."
My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.
Son: Dad, what's a morbid joke?
Father: Walk over to a homeless man and throw a rock at him, then you will know.
Son: But Dad, I don't have arms or legs.
Father: Now you know.