Aed jokes
What's the difference between an American school and a shooting range?
My dick doesn't get hard at the shooting range.
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
- I think you're EGGcellent.
+ Wow... You really CRACK ME UP with that joke. I think you're a EGGxtraordinary comedian.
- Really? Are you done yet?.
+ Are you kidding? I have a DOZEN of them.
A nucleus walked into a bar. He asked the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replied, “For you, NO CHARGE!”
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
What's the best comeback for a person calling you an orphan?
Kill their parents.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
A pair of cows were talking in the field. One says, "Have you heard about the mad cow disease that's going around?"
"Yeah," the other cow says. "Makes me glad I'm a penguin."
I have a pun, but I will nut tell you!
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
Q: Why do clowns always get into fights?
A: Because they have the balls to.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
What's the difference between a rubber and Michael Jackson? Nothing, kids touch them both.
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
What makes William Afton and a boomerang common?
They always come back.
If someone burns to death, do they get a discount at the crematorium?
What do you call a white kid at the back of the class?
School shooter.
Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.