Aed jokes

Me: Knock knock.

Friend: Who's there?

Me: A broken pencil.

Friend: A broken pencil who?

Me: Nevermind, it's pointless.

He had a song named after him: "They see me rolling."

There is a dark alley. Who do you call?

Batman.

What do you get when you combine a penis and a potato?

A dictator.

Leo is as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

What stands on the side of the road and needs a lot of money to buy?

Billboard, did you think I was gonna say street walker?

Why did the rape victim cross the road?

Because she was a chicken!

I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said, "What happened to all the parents?" She sounded so confused, so I told her, "It's only yours, kid, they left you on purpose." She cried. I felt bad for a second and thought, oh well, time to get back to my job at the orphanage.

How do you piss off a midget?

Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.

So, there is this button. There's a 50% chance you get a million dollars. There's a 50% chance that you turn into a turtle. Make them press the button, and if they give the money, you just push the orphan over, take their money, and run away because who are they going to tell? Their parents?

Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.

So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”

I used to date this girl only to find out she's a guy.

I guess you can say she had me in a trans.

A baby seal walks into a club...

The fish do nothing. That is definitely a bad joke.

What happened when the 400+ women ate a slice of cake?

She died the next weekend.

Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.

Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.

Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.

How do you call a black pilot?

A pilot, you racist.

The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.