Aed jokes
I made a website for orphans.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t have a home page.
Why is a sick person and California similar? They tend to burn up.
What do you call a vegan slut?
A garden ho!
Are you a keyboard? Cause you're my type.
My sister asked me what is dark humor. I asked what does a cannibal call a pregnant woman? "Kinder Surprise!"
Teacher: Where's your homework?
Student: At home...
Teacher: What's it doing there?
Student: Having a better time than me.
What sort of file turns a one inch hole into a two inch hole?
A pedophile.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
What is the worst thing you can find out about a woman on a first date?
She claims to have been raped. Then, you know to get as far away from her as possible because she's probably a feminazi bitch.
Like if your best friend has a dog.
🤔 What do gay men who are physically handicapped ♿ can do better than a man who is heteroflexible when 🤔 he has another man's 😍 😋 😜 😏 😳 😉 cock inside 😋 of his warm mouth 👄 👄 give a 👍 👍 good blowjob?
In a normal country, they have lemonade. In Soviet Russia, they have Leninade: "Refresh yourself with a cold war."
A man died and went to heaven. Every time you cheat, you get a worse car.
The first man cheated 5 times; he got a Jeep. The second man cheated 3 times; he got a BMW. The third man never cheated; he got a Lamborghini.
The second man saw the third man sad. He said, "Why are you sad?" The third man said, "I saw my wife with a scooter."
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
Why did Trump decide to build the wall?
Because China built a wall and they do not have any Mexicans.
A young blonde woman fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a shop and buys a handgun.
The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. The hysterical blonde tells her husband: "Shut up... you're next!"
Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.
Old Mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone.
But when she bent over, Rover took over, and gave her a bone of his own.
I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.