Aed jokes

What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?

Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.

I was in a haunted house today. Nothing scared me until I reached the last room, where I saw the scariest Halloween ghost I've ever seen. He took my pens and ghosted. I was told that I saw Pristiano Penaldo and I was lucky enough to see him because he performs once in a blue moon.

I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.

"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.

I was going to tell my dad a joke, but he still hasn't come back with the milk yet.

My dad is so good at instruments, he said he loves to finger "a minor."

A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.

In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.

If you really think about it, every market in Africa is a black market.

Feminists are a joke.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

Yo mama so ugly, Itachi couldn't look at her to put her in a genjutsu.

Could a phone booth also be called a chatterbox?

What did the orphan ask Santa for? A good family.

Imagine getting a call and it says, "Welcome to David's orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may we help you?"

When I see lovers' names carved on a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date.

What’s a depressed kid's favorite game? Hangman.

Your mom is so slow, it took her 9 months to make a joke.

Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.

School was fun, but it was hard, almost like riding a bike that’s on fire and the grounds on fire and everything’s on fire because it’s hell.

What do you call a spice with a PHD?

Dr. Pepper