Aed jokes

What do you call an idiotic cow?

A mis-steak!

What's the a simulation between a penis and a Rubik's cube?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

So I was at home, and I went to take a shower, and I accidentally walked in on my brother having sex with some girl. So I left. A couple minutes later, I needed my headphones to listen to music, so I asked my mom where she was. She told me she was in the shower. Our house only has one bathroom. Sweet home Alabama.

What do you call a Chinese man in the heat?

Boi Ling.

What do you call a sheep on steroids? A woolly mammoth.

Q: What do you call it when four Mexicans drown in quicksand?

A: Cuatro Cinco.

I am about to make a joke about cake. You butter believe it.

I used to date a girl named Ruth, but she broke up with me and now I am ruthless.

I'd make a joke about an obese person, but it won't work out.

So, Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny raises his hand and says, "Teacher, I'll bet you $50 I can guess what color your underwear is." She replies, "Okay, meet me after class and we'll settle it." But before class ends, she goes to the restroom and removes her panties. After class is over and the students clear out, Johnny makes his guess. "Blue." "Nope. You got it wrong," she says as she lifts her skirt to reveal she isn't wearing any underwear. "Well, come with me out to my dad's car, he's waiting for me, and I'll get you the money." She follows him out. When they get to the car, she informs his dad that he got the bet wrong and that she showed Johnny that she wasn't wearing any underwear. His dad exclaims: "That mother fucker! He bet me $100 this morning that he'd see your pussy before the end of the day!"

A farmer walks up to his farmer neighbor with a jug of milk. The farmer says, "I milked your cow." The neighbor replies, "I have a bull, not a cow."

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it was stuck in a crack.

Michael Jackson is pure cheese.

I mean, Jacko comes on a little cracker.

Why were the Twin Towers mad? Because when they spawned in a Minecraft world, all they got was plains.

I was blessed with a 9-inch dick. Fair to say that priest is in jail now.

Ninety percent of your beauty can be removed with a Kleenex.

Oh, were you talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

Hold still, I am trying to imagine you with a personality.

What do you do when a person with epilepsy gets seizures in the bathtub? Throw in some laundry.

What do you call a fish with no eye?

Fsh.

I saw my wife at the dam yesterday. Drat. I was hoping she might float a bit more downstream.

Q: Who are the fastest readers? A: Twin Tower victims, they got 80 stories in ten seconds.