Aed jokes
When I was born the doctors said, "it's a boy!" Then when they went to cut the umbilical cord, they cut the wrong thing. Then they said, "Oh, it's a girl."
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I went to the zoo the other day. The only animal there was a dog. It was a Shih-tzu (shit zoo).
A funny joke scenario.
Person 1: Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance?
Person 2: Because he had no "body" to go with.
Person 1: Because he was ugly, fat, and nobody liked him.
My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.
To be honest, I should have seen the signs.
Don't you just want to go on a mass murder while listening to goodbye Moonman? Oh, just me... OK.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.
Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What does a gay man that is a dumb blonde and who is a prostitute do after he sucks cock?
Spit out the feathers.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
I was going to tell a joke about babies, but I decided to abort.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Why did Tyrone drop his ice cream cone?
A: He got shot.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
A guy is bankrupt, so he gives his son a duck and tells him to go sell it for as much as he can. So the kid goes on the street to sell the duck. A prostitute walks by and says, "I'll f--ck you for $10." The boy says, "I would, but I don't have any money." She says, "Ok, I'll take the duck instead." He says, "Ok," so they go upstairs and f--ck. The prostitute says, "That's the best sex I've ever had. I'll give you the duck back, and we can do it again." So they do, and he gets the duck back. But when they go downstairs, the duck gets hit by a car. And the guy that hit the duck feels so bad that he gives the kid $25. So when he gets home, his father asks him why he looks so tired. The boy says, "Well, I got a f--ck for a duck, a duck for a f--ck, and $25 for a f--cked up f--ck."
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Infinite because feminists can't solve problems.