Aed jokes
How do you punish a blind person?
Hand them a gun and tell them it’s a hairdryer.
Stephen Hawking never used a condom. He used a firewall.
If you give Kobe Bryant a cigarette, he will be warm for a short time.
But he was set on fire in the helicopter crash, so now he's warm for the rest of his life.
A blind man is going for a walk. Eventually, he reaches a fish market.
He yells, "Hello ladies!"
A drum rolled down a hill. Ba-dum-tsssh!
Jaylie 😠: I don't care, what he said was so out of line!
Harvey 😁: It's funny!
Jaylie😠 : He said "Stupid, silly bitch face I raised! I should have known!" That's not funny, Harv!
Harvey 🙁: Come on Jay. Give Chris a chance?
Jaylie 🙄: Sorry but I'm a stupid, silly bitch face he raised. He should have known!
Harvey😟: That's not true!
Jaylie 😣: He even made fun of Kalierien. She is so sensitive!
Harvey 😡: SHUSH!!!!
Kalierien😡: Hi guys, how's your day?
Harvey😁: Good!
Jaylie 🤬: Mine was like living in hell!
Kalierien: 🤬SAME!!!!!
Why do women always have sex with the lights off?
Because they never like to see a man having a good time.
What do you call a booty that tells jokes?
A crack-up!
My friend's daughter is taking a job in California parking cars. She says she wants to be a valet girl. For sure. For sure.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
When God made Chinese, he said, "DON'T LOOK!" and the Chinese said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You won't want to be fruitful and multiply if you saw where you are putting that thing."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
When God made White Man, he said, "NEVER SHUT YOUR EYES!" and the white man said, "Why?"
And God replied, "You need to keep an eye out for the Chinese, one day they will out number you."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
Then the white man said, "There is a white genocide!"
And the survivors of the Holocaust said, "All these Europeans killed each other, so a white genocide is accurate. White killed white."
Then the Chinese said, "Thank you, we take your land now."
And the Jews said, "But we are God's chosen people!"
And the Chinese said, "Yes, every time God show up you get bullied! You might want to worship someone else!"
And the Jews said, "Why are you Chinese so lucky, you can't even see, you blind!"
And the Chinese said, "Jesus say be in the world not of the world, so don't go looky looky at the world then."
It turned out the Chinese are very obedient to God.
A guy in a white helmet telling kids to kill themselves.
One day I was passing a blind man and I gave him a gun and told him it was a blow dryer.
Next day I went for another walk and saw his grave.
What does a gay guy and an ambulance have in common?
They both get loaded from the rear and go...woo woo woo.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?
What do you call a giraffe giving a blow job to another giraffe?
Getting neck!
How do you know you’re at a gay church?
Half the congregation is kneeling.
What do you call a band made of cheese?
Grate That!
POV them: What's one move to get a man motivated in bed?
Her: All you gotta give is that hawk tuah and spit on that thang, you get me?