Aed jokes

I got introduced to a dwarf at a nudist colony the other day.

When we shook, the pleasure was all mine.

Q: Why couldn't the bicycle stand up?

A: Because it was too tired!! 😴😴😴

What do you call a bunch of Paki's jumping off a cliff?

Chocolate drops.

What is a gay person’s favourite meal?

Willy con carne.

Someone: When you suffer from depression and someone tells you to cheer up.

Me: My, what a great idea! Why didn't I think of that? ;)

There was a plane crash. The pilot's names were Captain Sum Ting Wong, Wi Tu Lo, Ho Lee Fuk, and Bang Ding Ow.

These three men wanted to start a band. One had the idea to call them the Rolling Stones, one wanted to call them the Veggies, the other said, "Let's be the Cripples," as they all rolled away.

I was on the Oregon trail with my friend's brother, Carl. He got cholera, so we threw him off the wagon. When we came back, he was having a seizure and pooping uncontrollably. It was pretty cholerious.

I am reading a horror book in braille.

Something bad is going to happen. I CAN FEEL IT!

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a bath, the water jumped out.

What type of camp does a kid with ADHD go to?

Concentration camp.

Why can't you kill a depressed person?

Because they are already dead inside.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?

They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."

What does a house wear?

A dress.

What do you call a whore with a runny nose?

...Full!

Me traveling back in time to tell Americans there will be a big tsunami on 9/11/2001, and to survive it they have to climb the two tallest buildings in New York.

Is a disabled person who has no arms but has guns armed or not armed?

How many Michael Jacksons does it take to screw a light bulb?

Oh wait, Michael Jackson only screws little boys, my bad.

Why does 9/11 only get a day, but Pride gets an entire month?

Because pride is a bigger tragedy.

What do you call a cow that was hit by an anvil? A flat iron steak.