Suicidal man jokes

A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

Why did the suicidal man walk in front of the car? To get to the other side.

Jimmy watched in horror as Alex told the suicidal man to do a flip.

A man walks into a library.

Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

Suicidal Man: ...

Librarian: ...

The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

Fuck it, suicide is wrong, but if you jump off a bridge and yell "parkour," it's a failed stunt.

Tried to kill myself today using a bungee cord, I kept ALMOST dying.

There's nothing more depressing than a failed suicide attempt.

I believe "Self-Baptism" is a nice way of saying "Failed Suicide Attempt."

Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.