Suicidal man jokes

Suicide

  • A man walks into a library.

    Man: "Hello ma'am, do you know where I can find a book on suicide?"

    Librarian: "Do you know about our return policy?"

    Suicidal Man: ...

    Librarian: ...

    The Woman checking out a book: "WHAT THE FUCK?"

    Suicide

  • My ex-boyfriend threatened to kill me because I was suicidal.

    I wanted to tell him, "Well, can we get what we both want?" I was already planning on dying anyway.

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  • Suicide

  • There's two reasons guys will hang themselves from the neck.

    One is to escape the worthless masquerade of a life we pretend we have, and the second reason is to whack off.

    Suicide

  • A depressed man buys a gun for suicide, but then thinks, "maybe I shouldn't be doing this," and asks a friend for help. He returns with a rope.

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  • Suicide

  • One day a man buys a rope to commit suicide, but his friend stops him.

    They go to a school with lots of happy kids. The guy feels better after a mag.

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  • Man

  • A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.

    After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.

    After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?

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