Aed jokes
Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.
A condom!
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
What do you call it when a bunch of guys who look the same have an orgy?
A doppelgangbang.
Why was Helen Keller so bad at driving?
Because she's a woman.
I gave a deaf kid AirPods.
Bully: You are a piece of shit.
Person: No, I'm not a piece, and I'm not brown... so no, honey.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
Little Johnny wanted a lolly, so his dada gave him dick.
When Ariana Grande walked into the church, she said, "GOD IS A WOMAN!"
If you tried to look at your hairline in a mirror, it would shatter into 100,000,000,000 pieces.
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
I got arrested because I cremated a guy. They said the guy had been alive when I burned him. I mean, it's an early cremation—what's the difference?
Nah, bruh, my hairline straighter than a gay person's.
What show do gay men watch?
"2 and a Half Men!"
Lol at this one fellas!
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Lynx Africa is based on a nice smell. Do you think Lynx England would smell like Stella and disappointment?
Grandma told me that when she passed away she wants to be a tree, and so she could live forever.
But I'm not gonna lie, it was a nice toasty fire...
Bell is so ugly, she acts like a boy.
1.) What’s yellow and can’t swim?
- A bus full of children.
2.) Did you hear about the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
- He died of a yeast infection.
3.) I will never forget my grandad’s last words...
- “You’re still holding the ladder, right?”
4.) I have a fish that can breakdance...
- Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
5.) Give a man a match and he will be warm for a few hours...
- Light a man on fire and he will be warm for the rest of his life.