Aed jokes
What do you call a midget with autism?
A weetard.
My wife is like a mirror.
I can never look at it.
Two horses are standing in a field. "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse," says the first.
"Moo!" says the second.
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
What do you call a burning church?
Holy smokes.
No means no, but if you use chloroform, it’s a guaranteed yes.
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
People with Down syndrome have a specific skill only they have; they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
A hot girl wants to commit suicide and jump from a bridge when an ugly, smelly, homeless weirdo walks up to her. And he says, "Hey you hot babe, let's fuck." She just answers, "Get the fuck away you ugly bastard." The guy just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.