Aed jokes
What do you call a blind German?
A not see.
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz II Men? He thought they were a delivery service.
I can’t hang out with an emo when they are sad? Why? Because it cuts deeply.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
When I was teaching my dog tricks, a Chinese man came to me and asked, "Why were you playing with your food?"
What do you call an angry Texan?
A Confederate leader.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
My grandfather says I'm too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
Hey God, what are you making?
Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.
Sounds like a match made in heaven.
Why didn't Sally get home from work?
She got hit by a bus.
What is a Mexican’s favorite band?
Twenty Juan Pilots.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
Like this if you are a single Pringle like me.
What objects have the most gravitational force?
A Lambo and a gold digger.
A kid asks his mom, "Mom, how much do you love me?" The mother responds with, "I love you as much as I love your brother." The kid looks confused and says, "But I don't have a brother." The mother smiles and says, "Well, I guess my love is not existing."
What does a kid and wine have in common?
Shit, I forgot, but they're both locked in my cellar right now.
What's a similarity between The Ark of the Covenant, The Holy Grail and a bunch of 12 year olds?
They are all locked in the Priest's basement.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."