Aed jokes

A guy starts chatting to a pretty woman at a party.

Seeing that she didn't back off, he asked her name. "Carmen," she replied. "That's a nice name," he said, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?"

"No, I named myself," she answered.

"Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?"

"Because I like cars, and I like men," she said, looking directly into his eyes. "So what's your name?" she asked.

‘BJ Titsngolf’

Johnny Depp to a 15-year-old girl: "Wow, look at that sexy body! Savvy!"

Michael Jackson, when talking about a 6-year-old boy: "The boy is mine! That doggone boy is mine! Don't waste your time...."

Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and Jeffrey Epstein entering and exclaiming, "Wow, this place is more fun than the Playboy Mansion!"

Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.

What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?

Kim Jong Un has rights.

What fruit always feels depressed?

A blueberry.

I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.

A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”

Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.

The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.

The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.

Two fish walked into a wall. One said to the other, "Dam!"

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!

What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.

What is a terrorist's DJ name?

Osama Spin Laden.

Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.

In 2016, Americans took "Orange is the New Black" to a whole other level.

What's a retard's favorite rock band? Syndrome of a Down.

I was in a public bathroom in a handicap stall, and when I got out, a handicapped man told me that I was an a**hole. I told him, "Bet you won't stand up and say that to my face," and then he broke down.

Q: What’s a koala's favorite drink?

A: Coca Koala.

A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"

Where do you buy a dishwasher?

Hot singles in your area.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to have a little fun.

Jack got mad and kicked Jill in the ass because she couldn't make him cum.

Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.