Aed jokes

When the school shooter runs out of ammo: K a l m.

When he grabs a full mag: P a n i k.

When he looks back and doesn't see you, but you're hiding in one of the classrooms: K a l m.

When the autistic kid's Sketchers light up: P A N I K.

Why do I have the urge to stick a chicken wing up yo pussy?

I am a racist, and I put my milk before cereal. Well, to be honest, that was when I had milk, but one day my dad says he was going to get some... then he left.

Now when I see a black guy, I yell, "Thanks for picking the cotton to make my shirt!"

What do you call an autistic kid going down the stairs in a wheelchair?

Hot Wheels!

Why does an orphan love baseball? Because their ball comes back, get pranked, bitch!

Scissoring is nice when I grind my wee wee on my wife’s clit.

Humping that little guy is like riding a wet butt plug.

What does an orphan not have in common with a criminal?

Criminals are wanted.

What do you call a pickle sandwich?

A Big Mac!

You ever had sex with a woman that is so fat, it counted as a threesome?

What did Sophie Brussaux's baby get every week?

A face full of sperm.

What starts with a "v" and ends with a "k"? A veggie Karen.

Someone fucked a member of BTS.

Yo yo yo, I’m a dinosaur, rawr! And my Snapchat is s4r1m-007 for more amazing jokes.

A kid was asking a mother for money.

Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.

The kid kept asking the mother for money.

Mother: I already told you I don't have money.

The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!

"Cheesus" hates me, yeah, I know, 'cause he's a real douchelord fictional character.

I was playing basketball and a guy in a wheelchair asked if he could play.

I looked at him and told him that we are looking for ankle breakers, yours are already broken.

If you enter the bathroom as an American and leave the bathroom as an American, what are you in the bathroom?

A European.

Is your dad a magician?

Because he magically disappeared.

A virgin is what I called my daughter before I took that away from her.

Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?

Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.