Aed jokes

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it goes, and everyone is trying to shit on ya.

Old people all ways get in the way some times don't they all ways to sloow when they are in front of you and make silly exsgouses dont they it is some times beyond a joke ! Lol

Me: I know how to use a microwave!

Also me: Mom! The microwave is on fire!

Me: Says to kid at adoption center, "You're adopted!"

Me and kid: hug.

Thought this site needed a little bit of nice jokes.

I need to go to the hospital because I'm getting shot by a PUN.

Why did the glacier send the iceberg to college?

Because, in order for ice to exist, it must retain a temperature of less than... ZERO DEGREES at the atomic level!

How does he go for a poo? He logs out.

I was at my drumming lesson and I accidentally dropped my drum stick when my sister made a terrible joke.

KA-DOOM-CHA!

What did the beachgoers in North Carolina say when there was a tsunami?

Nothing, they died.

I never feel offended if my friends don't wish me a happy birthday.

Because that's what I want.

Moose jokes, why did the moose fly with an airplane? Because it was a skoose.

A homey thing is a house, and a sticky thing is a stick.

Why did the hobo go back to the future?

To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.

I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.

If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.

What do you call a man with 6.022 x 10^23 dollars?

A Moleionaire.

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?

A. The Jello has a higher IQ.

One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...

...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.

Nah, bruh, my hairline straighter than a gay person's.

What does a ginger do when they want to high five a friend? They clap.