Aed jokes
Why did the hobo go back to the future?
To stop himself from wasting all his money on a rigged casino machine.
I went to the orphans to paint a picture of their parents so they can actually talk to them.
What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?
You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
I put glue in a man :)
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
A whale went to the country Wales for vacation.
When it ended, what did he say? "I had a whale of a time!"
Chemistry joke: Why did the Superman being normal people when a krypton was at him?
Because krypton is "stable."
Did you know that ASL is a dead language?
Yeah, nobody speaks it.
What bumps up and down at 100km an hour?
A baby tied to the back of a speeding truck.
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
Yo mama such a quitter, she di[ed].
What do you get when you cross a Muslim in a trench coat and a duffel bag?
A sad news story.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
What did the ankle say to the doorman?
You are a nonsense.
Yo mama so fat, that when she gets in a monster truck, it becomes a low-rider!