Aed jokes

How do you saw an apple with no mouth?

A P P L E

If you're having a bad day, just remember the Blobfish exists.

I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.

It was because he didn't speak French.

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"

What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?

"Happy Death-Day To You!"

It's okay to tell a Stephen Hawking joke if there are stairs in your house he can't get to you. Plus, he shut himself down, so it's all good :)

What do you call a fish with no legs?

Fsh have no legs.

What do you do with legs?

Fsh have no legs.

What do you do with legs?

Break!

Everyone is talking about Head and Shoulders, and that if he never had a shower, his batteries would have got wet.

There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.

My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.

We are drunk at the party. There was an ass-ton of drunk girls there with me.

I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."

How do you quiet a baby down?

Make baby back ribs for dinner.

What is the difference between a human being in the car with the snow and a tree and a walk walk home and walk walk home from school and walk walk home 🏠 was your name on it haha 😂 day a day I was thinking of a good

What is the difference between a school bus and a baseball?

You can throw a baseball, and you can’t throw a school bus.

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

Armless child: Can you give me a hand??

Me: Ok.

You can't put an orphan on house arrest if there isn't a house to arrest them to.