Aed jokes
If you wait for a woman to get 9 months pregnant and kill her, you will never be able to stop the loop.
When a homeless kid goes to school and the teacher says, "You have homework tonight," he said, "Sorry, Teach, I don't got a home."
I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"
What does a polite mouse say?
"Cheese and thank you."
What do you call a YouTuber? A virgin.
What do you call a flying Aboriginal?
Boong 747.
Q: If a cat says to a dog, "All dogs are liars," and the dog says to the cat, "All cats are liars," what does it mean?
A: It means cats and dogs can talk.
How did Sally get a free trip to Hawaii? She washed up on shore.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!
Q. What do Kenny's dick and this joke have in common?
A. They're both really short.
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
The nearest approximation to a perpetuum mobile would be a Swabian chasing a Scot because of money.
(Swabians are the Scots of Germany regarding finances.)
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
I went home one day. My mom said, "Look what a few guys got me." It was a MILF trophy.
My mom asked what does that mean. So I said, "Mom's I'd Like To Fuck." Then my mom said, "These guys want to fuck me?" I said, "Yeah." Then my mom said, "I still got it!"
Hi Gwen, how is life!
A. Bad, lame, and suckish.
B. Good, awesome, and you are loved!
C. Perfect!
I'm guessing that your life is NOT B nor C! Man, you're such an asshole!
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.
Anyone else think High School Musical would have been a better film with a school shooter?