Aed jokes
Why did Stephen Hawking not believe in God?
Computers don’t really have a specific religion.
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.
Boy/girl: I love you.
Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.
The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*
Me: Let's go to Randy's.
Friend: There's no Randy's.
Me: Ran deez nuts with a car.
Me: Do you know a funny joke?
Friend: Yes, you.
You know that feeling when you're going through a school parking lot and go over a speed bump, then you realize that there are no speed bumps?
What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...
A female cow doesn't have a dick.
What does having sex with a woman and cooking an egg in a skillet have in common?
Both end with a loud annoying sound and a gooey mess to clean the shit up.
What do you call a dwarf that fell into a cement mixer?
A wee hard man.
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
Why does the retard not like eating his vegetables? Because he knows not to be a cannibal, he knows somehow.
A Chinese teacher's phone rang as he was going to class, and he said:
"My phone the ring ring, it's my wife ring ring."
My grandpa died in 9/11. He was a great pilot.
"Stephen Hawking was talking about a cash register at Costco when he said I can’t stand these people. 😳😳😳😳😳😳 What did he saaaaaaayyyyyyy?"
What do you call an underwater maid?
A mermaid! 😂😂😂😂
I put a magnet in my butthole and made the teachers smell it.
My Friend: Why does Santa look like that?
My 15 Year Old Friend: He has secateurs cancer...
Me: I heard it's because he comes once a year.
*Everyone Looks at me*
How do you tell a male skeleton from a female skeleton by the BONERS lmao?
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.