Aed jokes
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
Breaking News! A plane crashes into a bridge.
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas, and it's still printing.
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Getting a book on pasta?
Yes. Just imagine the pastabilities there are!
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.
Today I saw my son lick out a tub of butter. I told him to make a sandwich without butter for a week (as a punishment). He said, "Okay," and licked the bread. "It's really easy to spread," he said. LOL!
Why didn’t Stephen Hawking go to heaven? Because it’s a staircase, not a ramp.
What did the guy with no teeth say to a blind guy... How many fingers am I holding up?
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.
Two sticks of butter walk into a butter bar. One says to the other, "Aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" He replies, "Sure, dis my butter from another utter."
What do you call a dog that's faced backwards?
A god.
What do you call a person with no arms or legs lying face first in a river? Bob.
What do you call two people with no arms or legs standing in front of a window? Curt and Rod.
How can you tell if a Polish woman is on the rag? One of her socks is missing!
What danger does this put them in? Toxic Sock Syndrome!
We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.
Why does Helen Keller loom in the toilet after taking a poop?
Nobody knows!
What is a dog that you can drive?
A big doggy car.
I went to the eye doctor and I couldn't read. They showed me a picture of a birthday cake and I thought it was a menorah!