Aed jokes
Why the fuck is this guy calling me a crying bitch?
"One man's trash is another man's treasure."
It's a wonderful phrase, but a terrible way to find out you're adopted.
What kind of shells do tanks use to cheat?
A-cheat shells.
Panchatantra is a collection of Indian fables.
How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?
They take a "power puff."
I was watching The Perfect Murder with my boyfriend. It was a good movie, but the weird thing was that my boyfriend was taking notes throughout the whole movie.
Yo mama's so fat, it took me two buses and a train to get to her good side.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.
- What do you call a dog that can do magic?
- A labracadabrador.
What does a nun say when you ask too many questions?
"Nunya business!"
Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? Idaho, Alaska?
What it actually means: Did Delaware wear a New Jersey? I don’t know. I’ll ask her.
P.S. My dad is a history teacher and he told me to put this in here.
What has nut, long, big, and sticky? A Snickers bar.
Why couldn’t an orphan go to a family restaurant?
Because an orphan doesn’t have a family.
"Buy a man an airplane ticket, he will fly once. Throw a man off an airplane and he will fly for the rest of his life."
- Sun Tzu
"You cannot win a war without a war."
-Sun Tzu, *The Art Of War*
Why can’t a nose be 12 feet long?
Because then, it would be a foot.
While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!
You're so fat, you lasted a whole year on the cross just off of your fat.