Aed jokes
My friend told me I should be a stand up comedian but... I prefer sitting.
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
What's the difference between fathers and hurricanes?
Nothing. They both destroy families and then leave for a couple of years.
Wanna me to show you a joke?
*Points at face* Funny, right?
My brother has a fucking ass and I wake up to him twerking.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
What do you get if you cross Damian Lillard and a watch?
Q: You know what's morbid at a storage sale?
A: They give you more bids.
This will take a ton of time.
A skele-ton.
Q: Two skeletons walk into a bar. What happens?
A: They fall.
(They walked into a BAR, as in a rod or whatnot.)
This is a bad day for me.
A stupid dolphin makes an annoying noise.
The dolphin did it on porpoise.
Just got a new internet connected toaster. It wouldn't work until I enabled pop-ups!
What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!
Why are the candy's clothes in the studio?
Because it's a wrapper.
S, ss, slalom. A.
Why did the orphan have to stay at school?
Because they need to leave with a parent.
What's a chairmaker's favorite flavor?
Chair-y.
Is your middle name Fancy Feast?
'Cause your face looks like a can of dog food.
Person A: Hey, what's the next subject?
Person B: Let me check.
Person B: It's greenglish!