Aed jokes

I'm the type to blow up half of my house to kill a spider... and still miss.

Take a few steps back like your hairline.

My friend's mom once told me that when Trump was elected president, she said to my friend: "Hey look, an orange became president. We got an orange as a president before a girl as president."

What do you call a riot full of white people?

An avalanche.

Last week, I made a joke about leftists. Now it is time for me to take shots at the right, and then I will move on to centrists. But I just said the same thing twice.

Your mum is so cool, she looks like a fridge. Quote: Jude Porters.

Orthodox Christians are a little slow; they take 13 days to get the joke. So go easy on them, alright?

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

If you guys wanted to see a joke, just look in the mirror.

In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

Why can't orphans open a website?

Because they don't have a home page.

I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.

As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

What is a Care Bear's favorite job?

Take care of bears.

Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?

Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.

What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?

A hoe hoe hoe.

What do you call a pig in a blanket?

My wife on a cold day.