Aed jokes

I pulled my kid out of school after a woke teacher taught my six-year-old about pronouns! Yesterday, it was "he/she," today, "they/it," tomorrow, "I/you/we!"

What do you call a person with nobody and no nose?

Q. What's a 9/11 survivor's least favorite bagel? A. Plain.

If you guys wanted to see a joke, just look in the mirror.

In Junior High, we had to do a report on euthanasia. I misunderstood the report and wrote about how I'd really like a Korean girlfriend.

Q. What's a dog's favourite type of sex? A. Ruff.

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

My brother was stuck in a wheelchair after a motorbike accident. He became a swimming champion until I took the VR headset off.

I gave a homeless person a phone but did not give him a home button.

What is a Care Bear's favorite job?

Take care of bears.

What does a stuttering Santa call Mrs. Claus?

A hoe hoe hoe.

The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.

What does a furry call a sexy furry?

A foxy lady!

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

What is the difference between a pencil and a woman?

At least one has a point.

Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?

A: Gonorrhea.

A Roman went to the bar and he held up two fingers and said, "Can I have five drinks, please?"

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

What hurts the most? 😹

A. Breaking up before chewing.

B. Breaking up after chewing.