Aed jokes

I don’t know why I’m in jail. So, basically, I was at a gun range, and we were supposed to hit the targets, even though I hit it.

Two kids were beating up a kid in an alley, so I stepped in to help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.

I'm in school lol.

Bonnie Blue's son could win a science fair just by participating.

Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.

What is the most annoying thing your parents say to you, and what is the dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you?

The most annoying thing your parents can say: "Finish your dinner, there are starving kids in Africa!" No, you can't have any dessert until you finish your dinner. (See how annoying that is!)

The dumbest thing someone can say that annoys you: "Why is your name Crayla? Why is your last name Goldburg? Is it like a gold bird!" (That is really annoying if you ask me!)

Thanks for reading this...bye!

My mom told me to get a job, so I did.

One day my mom saw me, I had money. My mom asked me where did you get that money? My mom asked me where did you get that money. I said I got a job in the neighborhood. My mom asked me what do you do, so I said when you take showers I secretly open the door, and I let the guys come and see you one by one, and I get paid for it.

My mom said you're growing up so fast, & I said back to my mom that is what the guys say when they see you in the shower.

What’s something you can say at a Christian summer camp and during a blind date?

"Good Lord, this is fun!"

Yo mama is so retarded, they tell her it was gonna be chilly outside, she went and got a bowl!

"A dyslexic atheist lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog."

An HDMI cable and an electrical outlet went on a date. It didn't go well, because they couldn't connect.

We were discussing cows in a lesson. I asked my teacher why she was one.

Why would you leave a damn gorilla out in the middle of the parking lot after you let the zookeeper bring a chimpanzee home from the zoo because me and the gorilla had too much to drink?

I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.

How do butts start a conversation?

"Let's cut to the chase!"

Alright, I'm gonna drink the lo-carb one to see how it compares to the normal Monster.

Holy shit, it tastes just like the original one.

There's like a weird after taste though.

Kinda like a sparkling water one.

I love Monster. I've drank about 5 cans already.

My friend said to me that I am gay. My response? I’m as straight as that pole that your mum danced on last night.

What's the difference between Obama and Trump?

Obama was a president and Trump was a whiny bitch!

I have a friend named Mole.

She plays a game called "sandbox" to dig up dirt...

If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?

Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.

Q. What do a one-story house and an Alzheimer's victim have in common? A. Nothing going on upstairs.