Aed jokes
Did you hear about the Syrian guy that shot a bunch of people? He was Robert Kurd.
Little Jim's friend told him that if he farts, he will give him a tenner. Little Jim tries to fart, but he poos himself, and he is bullied until he puts the poo on the bullies' face.
Why is bungee jumping similar to a condom?
Because if the rubber snaps, you're fucked.
"How would you describe a really bad skeleton?"
"Bad to the bone!" (Or "Rotten to the bone" if you want.)
Texter 1: You know People treat me like a god.
Texter 2: How?
Texter 1: They ignore my existence unless they need something.
When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳
Why can't orphans open a website?
Because they don't have a home page.
I bet Steven Hawking $100 if he could catch me.
As soon as he said yes, I climbed up the stairs.
Why can't a homeless person be seen around your wife?
Because she'll ask for her cardboard box! Ahahah.
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
A guy jumped out of the Twin Towers, saying, "I ordered pepperoni pizza, not a plane!"
Q. Why aren't jokes about bulimia funny?
A. They're just in bad taste.
Q. What's Terri Schiavo's favorite movie?
A. The Purge.
I'm sure you could be the smartest person in your class.
If it were a class for the profoundly retarded.
What do you call a fat, lazy person who smokes weed? A baked potato.
Why aren't orphans good at poker?
Because they don't know what a "full home" is!
What did Osama get on his test when he was a kid? A 9/11.
How does a terrorist feed their kids?
"Here comes the airplane."
The terrorists suck at [something]. They lost two times to the Twin Towers? Like, how do you land so far from it? One of them landed in a field.
I wasn't gonna tell another Epstein joke but I didn't want to leave anyone hanging.