Aed jokes
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she got hit by a bus.
What do you call a Muslim who drinks, smokes, and fools around with other women?
Turkish.
Back the halls with gasoline, la la la la la.
Light a match and watch it gleam, la la la la la.
My school is burnt into ashes, fa la la la la, la la la la.
A house has a crack. A guy covers it with Plaster of Paris.\n\nHouse: "Where the heck am I supposed to do my shit now?"
What do you call a lazy kangaroo?
A pouch potato.
Someone prank calls a general. The general hangs up and goes, "Kids these days have no respect for their elders. That's why I send them all to die."
What's the difference between a joke and a tragedy? Timing.
What's the difference between a child and a cancer diagnosis? At least the cancer grows up and leaves eventually.
If a woman named Susan gets murdered, is it considered a Sue-icide?
What do you call a cow that wasn't meant to be born? A mi-steak!
It is September. What's the difference between a stage four colon cancer patient and Santa Claus? Santa is coming for Christmas!
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
What do you call a guy with no body and nose?
No body nose
How do you call a Chinese emo? Han ing. (Hanging)
When I was doing ju jitsu at my neighbor's cat, I accidentally created a whirlpool and then ate a mango mustard bar.
Two ropes meet. They ask each other, "Why are you wearing a hijab?" The other replies, "I want to go into the water now."
Why did Sally not come home from school today?
Because she died by a flying brick!
Q: What song were the pilots of 9/11 listening to? A: 'So Let's Set The World On Fire.'
A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.
The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"
"What happened?" said the manager.
"A civil war."
Did you know there's a place in Germany called Hanover?
Must be lots of drunks there.