Aed jokes
If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.
Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?
In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.
Why did the skydiver's parachute fail?
Because it realized it had a better chance of survival without them.
Why did the short person bring a ladder to the bar?
Because they heard the drinks were on the house!
What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?
Shakespeare.
How many women does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they're so DARN STUPID!!!!
How to silence a black protester at a rally?
TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS, TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.
Your mom smells so bad she could stun a horse in a field.
🎵 BEAVER BEAVER 🎵
LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA LUBA
I'm walking down the street with a bag of dildos, beryllium, and a butt plug.
The best news about a pretty girl with special needs is that you can get her to do exactly what you want her to do.
I mean, she probably thinks receiving oral is like 100% blood sausage coming right at her.
Must be heartwrenching for a loyal husband to watch his wife dry shagging me on the living room carpet.
I mean, once she started, she couldn't get enough.
How did Teddy Roosevelt swing all the ladies?
He spoke softly and carried a big stick.
This is 15 first-year treating a swan.
Students return: "Without payment?"
The word "I die with many important problems."
Later, you answer this point: "DSD, rats?"
Thanks Ethan for all you've done. We've both made mistakes when all is said and done, but just thanks for being a good friend. This is officially my last post on here, Ethan-Real 1.
What is Mexican's favorite food? A taco.
Jesus walks into a hotel, hands the inn keeper three nails and says, "Can ya put me up for the night?"
What is a dog's favorite snack?
RUFFles.
How many police officers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two: one to change the lightbulb, and the other to open fire while the room is dark.
How do you get a smoking hot body as a senior?
Cremation.
My uncle is a horrible ventriloquist. He put his hand up my butt, but he told me NOT to say anything.