Aed jokes
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
One knight, a king, and a queen went fishing. They each caught one fish, so how did three fish end up in the bucket?
One "knight"!!!
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
Why is Pluto a dwarf planet?
Because it looks like a g-nome.
I took a sip of water.
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?
Only one farts when you pull the meat out. 🌝🌝🌝
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What is the smallest room in the world?
A mushroom.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
What do you call a cross between a computer and a vampire bat?
Love at first byte! <3
I told my dad to get me a packet of cigarettes, he never came back.
AND I still didn't get my FUCKING CIGARETTES!
[God creating the parrot] OK, HOW ABOUT A TYE-DYE CHICKEN THAT SCREAMS ACTUAL WORDS AT YOU?
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
A boy walks into some woods with a phone, and his friend comes by and asks, "What are you doing?"
He pauses, then says, "Trying some bird calls!"
What did a jockey's manager say to him before the race?
"Use the horse!"
Where do cows go on a holiday? Moo-Zealand! 😜
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The w.
A guy crashed his Ford SUV. He couldn't escape.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"