Aed jokes
So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...
Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.
A condom!
Good Morning Everyone, have a good and positive day!
What’s one store an orphan can’t shop at?
HomeGoods ;)
One day when I was driving around our children's school with my wife, she saw a speed bump. She told me to slow on it, and when I did, we heard a loud, long scream.
What do you call James Bond in a bathtub?
Bubble 007.
My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"
What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener!
What's the difference between a girl eating Taco Bell and doing sex a few times? Nothing. Something always comes out.
What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?
Bugs Bunny!
If you were to ask me, "Where would be the worst place to commit a crime?" I would say a multi-storey car park, because if you think about it, it would be wrong on so many levels.
Guys, add me as a friend in Roblox. I'm hawaiilover973 :D
"Why is my name Rose?"
"A rose fell on your head when you were born."
"Why is my name Daisy?"
"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."
"Bedrock is better than Java!"
"Oh, hi Brick!"
Son: Dad, I need a new butt.
Dad: Why, son?
Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.
Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!
Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O
What type of phone do orphans have?
Android because they don't have a home button.
Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.
What happens when a cow masturbates?
Beef jerky.
I took a sip of water.