Aed jokes

"Why is my name Rose?"

"A rose fell on your head when you were born."

"Why is my name Daisy?"

"A daisy fell on your head when you were born."

"Bedrock is better than Java!"

"Oh, hi Brick!"

Son: Dad, I need a new butt.

Dad: Why, son?

Son: Because mine has a huge crack in it.

What do you get when you mix a fly and a rabbit?

Bugs Bunny!

Yo mama so fat, if she buys a fur coat, the WHOLE SPECIES will become extinct!

Hey, I just wanna be in bed. I just wanna stay ahead. I just feel like I am dead, And I like that color red. Hey, I am not the big fat loser, And you're just a big accuser, You user and excuser.

Say this to you sister, toxic BF, anyone :)

This isn't a joke, I repeat, this is not a joke. The plane in Lake Harriet is not in the lake. It is invisible because of the satellite pic, so there's no plane in Lake Harriet.

Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!

Bob Weir: Where are you going?

Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈

Have you ever been accused of a crime you didn't commit? Well, I have! I was wrongfully accused of larceny yesterday. I'm not smart enough for that, I just stole some stuff.

A condom!

I was having a party in my basement, and my friend asked me what that bag covered in blood was for. I said, "Oh, that's the bag I catch the children with to torture them in this basement."

Would you like to win 100k?

Comment on my next video for a chance to win!

Cool, new word of the day: Marijuana.

“Does Marry wanna smoke a joint?”

Me, smashes mouse after losing a match; everybody at the pet race: :O

What type of phone do orphans have?

Android because they don't have a home button.

What do you get when you cross a fat christian nationalist that is heteroflexable, a christian nationalist politician who is also a born again christian, a conservative republican that has a small penis, and a tv evangelist on steroids?

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

What's a rock band that has four men that don't sing?

Mount Rushmore.

What do you do when you get a boy named Jackson? You dump him.

You are so fat that Big Chungus looks like a small Chungus.

My dad walked in on me having sex with a dog. She gasped and shouted at me, "Get out of here, it's my turn!"