Aed jokes
Looks like he got stuck in a sticky situation.
In the Middle Ages it was illegal for a blind man to become a king.
I mean, I don't see why not.
Ama is a bitch. I want him to die and kill himself.
Do you put a baby in the microwave covered or uncovered?
Covered, it can take weeks to clean up the explosion.
Your classmate: You're so ugly.
Me: That's what your mom said when she had you and called you a mistake.
Have a cat pic
I have a taste for some roast duck until the feathers will pop right out and say, "Quack, quack."
Q: What did the fetus say to the tongs?
A: See you on the flip side.
A Texan and an Alaskan walk in a room. The Alaskan says, "My state is bigger than yours." The Texan says, "It won't be when it melts!"
What do you call a train that stalls?
The little engine that couldn't!
What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a train? The train will touch me.
What's the difference between 5 cocks and a joke? I can't take a joke.
What do you get when you cross an atheist an insomniac?
Someone who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.
If you are a banana, why don't you eat a banana?
Oh right, you'd be a cannibal. I mean a banan-i-ball.
Q: What did the DNA say to the other DNA?
A: Do these genes make my butt look fat? 💩
What kind of star will come out in the daytime?
A starfish! 🐟🐠🐡🦐🦞🦀🦑🐙🦂
Why does a cow love music?
Because it can play a moo-sical instrument.
Why can't orphans sign up for sports?
They have to have a parent's signature.
When you want to see and smell your ex for the last time, look at a ugly dog, and smell the garbage.
My dad drove past a graveyard. He said, "I won't be buried there." I asked why.
He said, "Because I am not dead yet!"
Harry Potter
Dobby: "Dobby never meant to kill, Dobby only meant to maim or seriously injure!"
Jumanji
Coach Webb: "Ok, there's a lot wrong with that."