Aed jokes
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian, and I know how to BAKE on breakfast.
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy!
What is an orphan's favorite movie? Home Alone.
Yo, look, they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine. Yay, yay! Don't drink too much of it; you might turn into a wine rabbit.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"
Why can't he say that?
Answer: He works at an orphanage.
A teacher says, "What comes before 47?" Quiet kid: "AK!"
You’re so short, you could use a pillow as your bed and still have some wiggle room.
What kind of instrument is always having to go potty?
A pee-ano/piano.
A B C D E F G.
Gummy bears are chasing me, one is red, one is blue. One is chewing up my shoe. Now I'm running for my life because the red one's got a knife!
Yo mama so far, she makes the Statue of Freedom look like a 6-inch action figure.
Why did the people get a chicken?
To make eggs.
We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.
"Vladymoron Pootin and Drunkard Chump sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."
What do you call a black prostitute with braces?
A Black & Decker pecker wrecker.
Why are friends a lot like snow?
If you pee on them, they disappear.
What’s the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesn’t fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Why do orphans hate Geometry?
Because it reminds them that their parents are poley-gone.
I know this is a very corny joke.
What's green and has a thousand nipples?
A garbage bag in the alley behind a breast cancer clinic.
How is a beer can and an Indian the same? You can find them both smashed on the side of the road!
The last words from a depressive person are: "I finally see a train!"