Aed jokes
Q: What does a microwave and an M1 Garand have in common?
A: They both go “ping” when they’re done.
A kid asks for an ice cream. The man says, "Any sauce?" and the kid says, "Na, I got ketchup at home."
What do you call a ride that drops 180 degrees?
Cold as hell.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
My friend Richard is always bullying all the little kids in the neighborhood. He is such a dick.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
What is blue and sits in a corner? A baby in a baggy.
A termite walks into a bar and says, "Hey, is the bartender here?"
Why do men sag their pants so low and still wear a belt?
The same reason women bring their purse on a date and don't pay.
Why is the sun famous? Because it’s a shining star.
Sorry for posting this!
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.
A guy cut me in the lunch line. After that, a rock was thrown at him by my friend.
What's the difference between a gun and chips? When you bring it to class, everyone starts wanting to be your friend.
What's the hardest part about sex with a Thai girl?
Her, probably.
Why did Leah throw the butter out of the window? To see a butterfly!
What is the difference between a tree house for dinner, and dinner with you today after school?
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.