Aed jokes
Me and my friend were hunting ducks. He had a 12 gauge shotgun, and he looked over and I had a .50 caliber machine gun. He said, "You're crazy!" I responded, "Quackers."
What did the first guy say to the second?
Wanna shove a banana up yo ass?
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to go to the movies.
Mom: SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND CLEAN MY ROOM! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!
What do you call a green boner? The Grinch.
I gave up hope and I liked it!!
I take meds to feel fantastic! (I kissed a boy{but fed up lyrics})
The other day while I was going down on my grandma, I thought I tasted a little horse semen and I got to wondering if maybe that’s what killed her!
What do a 14 year old and the fetus inside her both think?
"Man, my mom's going to kill me!"
What do you call a 3 humped camel?
Answer: a prostitute from New York. 😂😭💀
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
What do you call a woman who thinks she can do anything a man can do? Wrong.
I’ve two dogs and two cats, and they are all Democrats. They want a handout everyday.
Little Jimmy was in the shower singing "Dame Tu Cosita," and her mom heard it and went to the shower, and Jimmy's mom saw Jimmy wearing a bathing suit in the shower, and Jimmy yells "WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP!"
I saw a yellow bus and I knew that some-ting was wrong.
The bus was white.
If you put your foot in a pond, your foot will get wet.
No joke, I just wasted about 5 or 6 seconds of your life.
Someone walked into a cancer ward and asked for a skin fade.
Watching "50 Shades of Grey" was more painful than my uncle fisting me as a kid.
On Paxomedy channel, I made a video of a Rooster and a dog fighting.
I needed to know why they were fighting. Once I dug down into the issue, it turned out that the Dog called the Rooster a Cock, and the Rooster laughed and called the Dog a useless Bitch, and that was the beginning of their fight, and weird enough, the Cock won!
I went to congratulate the winner, but he thought he was insulting me by calling me Zinjathropus, but I said that was a compliment because Zinja was an old skeleton found in Africa, and I am African. I said to the Rooster he shouldn't have fought with the dog just because he called him a Cock. He said that being called a Cock is a compliment, and the fighting was his exercise to toughen up for serious fights with Dogs!
The Mexican landscaper came to cut our lawn. My mom was happy then asked him, "Can I have some of your burrito?" He said, "Yeah." I said, "Whatever."
A few minutes later, my mom told me to cut the lawn. I said, "Why do I have to do it? That's what he's there for." My mom said, "He's going to do the burrito for me." Then I said, "Okay." I finished cutting the lawn and went in the house. I see my mom giving the landscaper a blow job. I said to my mom, "What are you doing?" My mom said, "What does it look like? I'm having my burrito." The landscaper told me that I missed a spot while cutting the lawn.