Aed jokes
What do you call an emo dating another emo?
The suicide duo.
Knock knock.
Me, a person: Who's there?
A: Deez nuts!
Why did the fastest cat get kicked out of school?
He was a cheetah.
Why did the boy get a koala? He had the koalafications.
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
when my imaginary mom tells me to calm down
What do you get when you cross a deer and a pickle?
A dildo.
I would tell you a joke about a clock, but it’s a waste of time! 😄😄
How does a lady with stage 3 cancer introduce herself?
"Hey y'all, I'm Diane."
Director: Hi, we are making a huge cliffhanger in this movie.
Actor: Really? What do I do?
Director: You will play the part of the cliff. (holds up hanging rope)
What's the difference between a five-year-old and a Democrat?
The five-year-old doesn't expect you to do everything for them.
(Vote for Ted Cruz, Ben Shapiro 2020)
Q: Why did the flat earther become gay?
A: He knows a thing or two about giving dome.
Q: Why did he eventually become asexual?
A: He doesn't believe in anything south of the border.
So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."
Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."
And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."
I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜
I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."
When you realize the person reading this is a clown.
What do Jamaicans say when they touch a cactus?
Pokemon!
How do you know if a rapist loves you?
He will rape you many times.
Roses are red. I love hot food. If I was a bad bitch, I'd wanna fuck me too.
Oh wait, I am.
I heard he's doing a revival tour next month. It's called "Stephen Hawking Unplugged."
A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge!"
Dad: I get to touch animals every day at the zoo.
Kid: Why?
Dad: I clean up animal s*** at the zoo.