Aed jokes
A Japanese person comes to America and sees guns everywhere. One American says, "Welcome to America!"
When I have a staring contest, I always win.
Every day, I see blind people who hate me.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "Fuck him, he's only an egg."
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
Im willing to sacrifice
Yo mama's so ugly, she made a blind kid cry.
Yo mama's armpits are so hairy, it looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock.
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
Why did the dinosaur take a bath?
So it can get ex-stinked!
Hitler is a national hero, he killed Hitler... Oh wait.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
So, my mom was talking to me and told me to go to the store. When I get there, there’s a sign, but then someone tells me that’s just someone with a ginormous forehead.
What do you call Joey in a room? Transgender.
Isn't there a software company named after your dick?
Microsoft?
What’s the similarity between a broken pencil and my life? They’re both pointless.
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.