Aed jokes
What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?
Lots of blood tests!
The emo girl in my class did her photosynthesis project on a tree. Little did she know that would be her demise later on.
You're so ugly, even a Snapchat filter can't fix it.
Harry Potter is a movie about a grown adult man with an unhealthy obsession with a teenage boy.
I asked my wife to embrace her mistakes.
She gave me a hug.
My girlfriend sent “a let’s break up text” right when I was done editing our pics.
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?
Last post for today, but I had to say one more thing! Tomorrow I am going to Six Flags, and I am literally so excited! It is going to be so much fun. Hope you guys have a good MLK JR. day! Woohooo!
What kind of birthday cake do you get on September 11th?
Three small ones, so you can have a flight of different cake flavors!
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
Santa's sack is big because he only comes once a year, but his sack is SO BIG after containing the lovely eggnog he has that those weigh the sleigh.
He never had kids because he comes in the chimney.
Three Things I Want For Christmas From Santa:
1. A Lambo
2. A House
3. UR MOM
It’s a bird.
It’s a plane.
Oh, shit it is a plane!
What's the difference between a Chinese person and an old person?
One lasts long and another doesn't.
Dude, all Hitler asked for was a glass of juice, but everyone misheard him.
What does an Emo do with his friends?
Literally hanging out.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
What do you call Joey in a room? Transgender.