Aed jokes
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
A blonde really got tired of all blonde jokes and decided to hang herself in the bathroom. As she locked the door, she yelled at her husband, "I'm hanging myself because I'm tired of jokes about us blondes being stupid!" Her husband broke into the bathroom and saw his wife with a rope tied on her toe. The husband said, "I thought you were hanging yourself." She said, "Yes, I am!" The husband replied, "Usually when people hang themselves, they tie the rope around their neck, so why is yours tied on your toe?" She said, "I tried that, but I couldn't breathe."
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke marijuana. Jack got high, pulled down his fly, and asked if she wanna. Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and they had a little fun. Stupid Jill forgot the pill, now they have a son.
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
What happens when a cow jumps over a wire fence?
Udder destruction.
What do you call a dead parrot?
Polygon.
Why does a heterosexual man swallow the sperm of another man after he has given him a brojob?
Because of the cream filling inside, just like the individually wrapped cakes of Hostess Twinkies.
Why are there a lot of whites in hockey?
It’s the only other job that involves beating something black other than being a cop.
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
Q: What is the difference between a stripper and a bungee cord?
A: It's cheap, fast, and if the rubber breaks, you're pretty much screwed.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
According to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected.
I called the suicide hotline in Saudi Arabia. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
What's one of the worst motivational things to say to a suicidal person?
“Hang in there!”
What's worse than waking up with a penis drawn on your face?
Finding out it was traced.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Hey JFK, what would you do if you were in a fight?
JFK: Well, I'd give them a piece of my mind.