Aed jokes
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie "Aquaman." The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.
Shame on you Penaldo for destroying my dream!
If I fantasize about fucking a UCP Cabinet Minister,
Does that mean I'm sexually Conservative?
How to be a hero.
1. Tie a noose in your front yard.
2. Find and capture a furry.
3. Hang that furry because they deserve it.
It’s easy as 1-2-3!
A girl walks in the room. She asks her mom, "Why's my name Flower?" Her mom said, "When you were born, a flower fell on your head." Brick walks in the room. Jasvidnqzkdvsosbd.
What do an orphan and a homeless person have in common?
They have no one to call "Dad."
Why are the Americans good at Rubik's cubes? Because they have a long history of separating colors.
What do you say when going for a dunk in basketball?
"Kobe crash!"
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
Three men are on a bench in Soviet Russia talking shit about Stalin. One of the men all of a sudden pulls out a KGB badge and says, "You two are coming with me for treason." One of the other men also pulls out a badge and says, "Not me." The third man pulls out a badge and says, "Wow? There's a lot of agents here."
What does a penis and a Rubik's cube have in common?
The more you play with it, the harder it gets.
They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.
I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me eating a banana with my butt........
IMAGINE!
Yo momma is so dumb that she couldn't even get three words into this joke. Maybe that's why she gave it a thumb's down...
Q: What do Olympians make bad DJs?
A: They keep breaking records!
Q. What movie represents an orphan's life?
A. Spiderman: No Way Home.
The ocean will kill you to death expensively if you're on Titanic. Buying the tickets was a waste of money.
Dark jokes are like a new day. Suicidal people don't get it.
"Have you taken a bath?"
"No. Why, did one go missing?"
What is long, hard, and has cum in it?
A cucumber.
She's so fat that when she steps onto a wood floor, the floorboard doesn't creak, it screams: "Goddamn!!!" before it snaps from the weight.