Aed jokes

Your forehead is so big you could have put an H for Kobe to land on.

What can fly underwater?

A mosquito in a submarine.

What do orphans call a holiday?

A bit of soil and some leaves as a blanket.

How do you fix a broken gorilla?

With a monkey wrench.

Define abnormal life.

Waking up every day living a sane life!

I've sadly received a rejection letter from NASA. Strangely, it says there's no space on their training program.

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

I have a joke about lazy people!

Actually... forget it... it won't work.

I wrote a joke on MH370... but I don’t know where it went.

What do you call a spaceman’s willy?

A Shuttlecock!

Little Johnny got a dog without ears, and then they invited their neighbors over. Then they asked what his name was. The owners said, "We didn't name him anything, because there's no reason. Because when we called his name, he wouldn't come."

Why did the orphan jump into the burning building?

It was too cold because they did not have a home.

If a simp is staring at you, cover your mouth (they'll stop looking).

What do you call an orphan living with ghosts?

A happy family.

My wife and I went to the bar to get a drink, but 2 mins later, I see her dead on the ground. I guess she couldn't see the bottle flying at her face. Then I laughed and went home.

What did the orphan's mum say before she abandoned her child?

OH it's a bitch.

I bought a rainbow gun, but for some reason it doesn’t shoot straight.

Yo mama so fat, a bombing and 89 stories didn't kill her.

Who were the people that survived 9/11?

The ones who decided it would be a good idea to jump.

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.